Artists Lists?
Does every artist have this list this sacred list of things they long to paint? things that are so near to me that it seems to paint them may break me in two - all the emotions spilled out and no more of me left. Silly right? What an addicts self centered don't want to feel kind of thought. But do they?I think of Allgates how it deserves to be right here in this gallery of stately homes and yet to sit down and do it . . . Well there is Daddy in heaven and smash ball on the third floor and go carts in the courtyard and every lamp broken playing with a dad who never grew up. The missing goes on forever right? Grief, ocean waves sometimes gentle sometimes pounding but always there.
The homework he loved to help us with, the determination to make it to every state with his Rachel and four kids in tow. He brought me my forgotten lunch ( which I knew was irritating) , leaned down and said " you know, I love you more than anything." The number of times he repeated those words " you know, I love you more than anything. Mommy and I love you kids more than anything." What a gift to have as a child, to know I was so loved.
