Blog
Alopecia
Well it's Lyndas story but the paintings can tell my story. It's good to be alive and to tell your story. It makes you more human. I loved my hair. I miss the feeling of wind in my hair. I miss the soft as silk feeling of my hair underwater. Alopecia has made me for some reason stop giving to myself. Earrings keep showing up and scarves keep showing up. ( from other people! these two things are hard for me to buy)The book " When Your Hair Falls Out Keep Dancing" made me laugh and smile when I felt sad. It is bizarre to be stared at knowing people are wondering if you are sick, to have doors held and hugs given and groceries carried , all to realize oh it's because I have my scarf on today. It's neat to realize people can be so very kind but in some sense my friend Lupita has quite the idea when she says I ought to have a t shirt with Alopecia and it's definition on it. Not sure I'm a t shirt person but maybe a dress?
A Very Long Gratitude List
1)My new salts2)The new oven mitts
3)Dentist and Dr appts added to blessing list
4) saying YES to writing love letters to my kids ! 5)TJ Maxx gift certificate from my mom
6) the habit( thanks to Andrea and my mom) of getting school stuff ready the night before
7)A tidy house! Tidying ALONE, pandora on, after the kids went to bed
8)TV dates with Matt at night
9)Our New Mexico trip
10)Hot showers
11)Adding Jaime to the list
12)Kindness as my word of the year
13)My closet and tiny spaces and tiny houses
14)The house I grew up in. For having parties. For playing tag. For teenage babysitters who got so scared( of the house!) that they gathered us in one room
armed with kitchen knives or took us out into the yard. The way my room faced west, the sunsets there.
14)Andrea. Her positive spin on things. Her whole self.
15)My sister who really listens quietly and lets me have my one day pity party when I need it. Who answers " I'm good" when asked how she is , even if she is home with babies and a husband fresh out of back surgery. Even if she is getting daily migraines.
16)Kelly, who does the same. Answers " pretty good" no matter what. And always has healthy easy yummy food ideas.
17)The serenity prayer that makes my day better and my house cleaner when I say it.
18)One of our pediatricians, who just passed away. He had that gift of speaking to children in such a kind respectful way. When we heard he had passed away my daugher said right away that he was one of my sons favorite people. 19) Lyndas beautiful book ( this is one of the illustrations for it)
Word of the year?
Kellie Rae Roberts mentioned she chooses a word for each year. I love it. I choose kindness for 2014. Kindness to others AND to self. This is how most of my paintings start. I use a blank canvas as a palette. Then I hang around with it and see what shapes show up. Anyone can do this. Just make a messy canvas, leave globs of color and acrylic medium, let it dry and keep it where you brush your teeth or wash dishes and you may see something. I guess for me I feel like god shows me what's there already and then I finish it. I'll show you the next steps that happened with this piece. I put it in the living room with me while I did a yoga video, rotating it every now and then.
Love Letters, more on Motherhood
When I was in high school a friend of mine wrote me a letter. The best letter I have ever gotten. Every sentence started with I love . .and it was two or three pages of little things she loved about me. It's something I've wanted to do for my kids for a long time. So a friend and I are setting a date to do it. In the meantime I'll gather up the little scraps of paper where I've written things I love about them.
Despite the Fs I feel I often deserve, I do feel so totally honored to be their mom and to have this time with them. I have this amazing picture of them walking on top of a hill. It's from far away but makes me amazed that I know those two shapes anywhere.
Here's to Brad . . .
and all the other artists and musicians and creatives of all sorts who drink a big cup of coffee in order to stay up and make stuff after the kids go to bed. Tonight thats what I did. Keep on creating.Recent Works
